Do you have a pressing issue and would you like to hear someone else’s opinion? Subway shares a reader’s dilemma each week. This week: Dunya (24), who is disappointed that her friend still has not paid her Tikkie request of 50 euros.
“Nina is one of my best friends, we have known each other since high school. We played hockey together, went on vacations and met every week. We still see each other often, because we study in the same city. We also regularly go out together – one time we eat, then we go to the pub again.
Super fun of course, but: Nina is a chaotic mess. This manifests itself on various levels. Then she has a dentist appointment and finds out five minutes late. Or she has lost her textbook while she has an important exam. Or miss that exam, that sometimes happens. Nina is also messy financially. She often forgets to pay bills. Although that is better now that she has set up automatic payments, because after a few times her landlord became less lenient.
Lax with payment
I find that chaotic charm about Nina. Only: she also sometimes forgets to pay me things back. Little things, you know, once a tenner for the groceries. Or 5 euros for two nail polishes that I scored for her. But sometimes a somewhat larger amount, for example when we went out for dinner – that can be between 20 and 50 euros. So I say it: ‘No, you haven’t paid that Tikkie yet. Then she shouts ‘sorry’ a thousand times and still pays it – even if it takes another two weeks. I know it’s no harm, she sometimes preempts things too. And then sends a Tikkie after it fairly quickly… that’s it. And it always works out, I know.
Until now, because I am still waiting for an amount of 50 euros that I paid a few weeks ago. We had a great evening, with great music, good food and delicious cocktails. But it was also an expensive evening. Nina didn’t have the amount ready, so I advanced it. And I sent a payment request. That took, as I expected, a while. I reminded Nina, she promised to get well and would really transfer it. But now it’s been four weeks and I still haven’t received anything.
That bothers me. It is not an insurmountable amount, but we are not talking about 1 euro either. Moreover, I am also a student and I do not necessarily have it super wide. But no matter how many times I ask about it, Nina doesn’t get over the bridge. The last time was last week, and then she even reacted a little indignantly. “Yes, I’m really going to transfer it, you already asked that.” You guessed it: nothing. For the first time I notice that I have a bit of a bad feeling about it and that I really hate it. I find that difficult to hide from her. Anyway, the problem is that we often see each other. For me, however, the jeu is a bit off, and I don’t feel taken completely seriously.
Dilemma: to make a point or not?
Well, like I said, I’ve raised it a few times. But what should I do now? That’s my dilemma. Should I just consider that 50 euros as lost, don’t advance anything and happily continue with Nina, or should I stand on my own – with a possible collision as a result? I find that so annoying, especially since we’ve never had a fight before – and now over something as stupid as money. In short: I could use some advice.”
What do you think Dunya should do? Comment on our Facebook page! The responses will then be published next week.
Gave last week Subwayreaders’ advice to Sita (28), who doesn’t want to pay a lot of money for her cousin’s bachelor party.
Eva says: “I have very little trouble with it. Just: ‘No, I think that’s way too expensive, I’m not going’.”
Suus says: “Be honest and indicate that the wedding is also coming. That you want to go out for dinner, but then go home again.”
Myranya comes up with a rather creative solution: “If you don’t want to or don’t dare to say it, you ‘suddenly’ have a very important appointment for the afternoon, fortunately you can come along for the evening (or vice versa).”
Yvonne thinks: “I wouldn’t go with this answer of ‘prices have risen’ anyway. This shows no understanding for anyone else.”
Dilemma: ‘Should I quit my job and become my own boss?’
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Dilemma: “My girlfriend still hasn’t paid my Tikkie request, should I stand up?”